Permanent Relationship


       From what I see, the God of the Bible only allows sex within permanent relationships. The exception being between a person and a slave, which the slave could eventually be given freedom and leave the committed relationship. I recommend having a conversation with your significant other and asking him/her if they will be in a relationship with you and not sleep with anyone else. Get married. Make sure both of you are tested for HIV/ AIDS. I know of two stories where a husband didn't tell his wife that he had HIV and ended up infecting her. This same scenario can happen in a homosexual relationship.    

            As a LGBT person, you may have been taught that you can't be yourself then realize that the Bible has been changed to forbid homosexuality. This is true but there still are restrictions on individual Christians. Paul says this: "but I am subduing and enslaving my body lest I have preached to others and I my very self (qnom) shall be rejected" (1 Cor. 9:27). Qnoma refers to a person's individuality or individual self. Some people struggle with promiscuity, anger, et cetera; of which these individuals need to know how to control themselves. Don't get in the mindset that because there are homosexual relationships in the Bible that you can sleep around as a Christian. No. The Bible forbids fornication, which Alexander Oraham defines the Aramaic word zanyutha as: "fornication, unlawful sexual intercourse on the part of an unmarried person." This would include sex before marriage, promiscuity, incest and prostitution (Jn. 8:41; 1 Cor. 5:1; Rev. 2:21). The Bible also forbids adultery. If fornication doesn't mean "sex before marriage &/or promiscuity" then why would someone get married? That would limit their sexual partners.

            Paul taught that to avoid fornication, a man shall take a wife and a woman shall take a husband (1 Cor. 7:2). Later in the chapter, Paul said that if a husband is bound to a wife, don't seek a divorce and if he was divorced from a wife, not to seek a wife (1 Cor. 7:27). Elsewhere, monogamy is the ideal in the New Testament (1 Ti. 3:2,12; 5:9; Titus 1:6). Since God's ways are equal (Eze. 18:25,29), we can see what God requires of gay people by analogy. Lesbian, gay and transgender Christians (I will get to bisexuals later) should take a partner to avoid fornication and not seek a divorce for frivolous matters. If they get divorced then they should remain single or be reconciled back together (1 Cor. 7:10-11). That is why it is very important to marry a Christian you are attracted to and has good morals. You may need to get to know the person by observation, questioning and asking others about his/her character.

            For bisexual people, they may need to deny a part of themselves. I want to stress the word "may" because I don't know. It appears that the New Testament only allows for monogamy. Polygamy is also inherently unequal. One person may think "Why should s/he get to sleep with two people and I can only sleep with one person?"

            Nevertheless, Christians also get teaching from the Old Testament. The Old Testament contains bisexuals such as King David and Jonathan and Judith and her maid. Maybe polygamy is allowed for bisexuals. A permanent relationship would still be a must with a limitation of sexual partners in a group to likely three or four.

            If an additional partner is allowed, then the following could be the scenarios. Probably the best decision if one person in a marriage is bisexual, is to find another bisexual to be in the relationship. That way the relationship is equal and each individual has two people to sleep with. If both people in the marriage are bisexual, then that could lead to the possibility of another woman and man to the marriage, with a total of four people having a covenant of only sleeping with members in that group. Nevertheless, a bisexual husband could also get married to a gay guy. This would fulfill the permanent relationship for the gay guy and the sexual or emotional need of the husband. A similar situation would be if the wife was bisexual, she could marry a lesbian. Though it would be unnatural for a lesbian or gay guy to sleep with the opposite gender, that doesn't mean that s/he won't if any jealousy arose between any of the partners in the relationship.


            Practice yoga like Yeshua, the Apostles and the former prophets did. Yoga can help you overcome temptation when you open up your third eye (Matt. 6:22-23; Eph. 1:18). Yoga involves overcoming the lower nature and giving up the bad desires of the five senses. Hence, yoga helps you control the desires of the mind and body (lust [toward someone not your spouse], anger, eating too much, etc).  

            Yeshua wants us to worship the Father in BREATH and in truth" (Jn. 4:23). The Aramaic word ruha means: "breath, spirit, disposition, etc." Yoga involves working with the "breath" and the different postures. Indeed, the word "to pray" has much more meaning in Aramaic. The Aramaic word sla means: "to pray, incline, bend, slope, etc.;" hence the yoga postures. Out of body experiences or astral projection experienced by Paul, Enoch, Ezekiel, etc. are accomplished by opening up the third eye (2 Cor. 12:2, etc.). 

            The Old and New Testaments' conduct requirements for believers seem to precurse yoga. Maybe yoga practice is meant to accompany a Christian's conduct and self-control? It helps us to not commit sin and figuratively serve sin (as if our master) or perform sinful desires. Yeshua said that he who commits sin is a servant of sin (Jn. 8:34). Paul taught that we are to walk (live) after the spirit and not after the flesh and to be carnally minded is death (Rom. 8:1-15). Paul also said that we are not to do the deeds of darkness or fulfill the evil desires of the flesh (Col. 3:5,8; Rom. 13:12-14; Gal. 5:13-16). Moreover, John wrote at 1 John 2:16 that the [evil] desire of the body and the [evil] desire of the eyes are not of God.  

            Rig-tha "desire" can be good or bad. Quite often it means the [evil] desire within the Bible. Paul specified the evil desire at (Col. 3:5). However, sometimes Paul and John don't add the adjective evil with "desire", but it is meant. Usually rig-tha is translated as "lust" or "concupiscence" when it carries the bad meaning (Rom. 6:12).

            The following are some other meanings of rig-tha. Those meanings aren't necessarily bad but they could be in supporting contexts. Rig-tha can refer to a desire or longing for water  (4 Macc. 3:11). A "craving or appetite" (Num. 11:4; Wis. 16:2). It can refer to a "desire" for a material thing. It has a noun meaning of a "desirable object" (1 Ki. 20:6; 2 Chron. 32:27; 36:10). It can refer to a desire or "delight" of the eyes. Please note that any lust (desire) of the eyes toward one's spouse wouldn't be an evil desire. However, any lust (desire) to commit fornication, adultery or sin would be an evil desire. False desires received from false religious beliefs, society, etc. would also be evil desires.


            I know there is a lot of temptation out there and you can fall in love with other people but promiscuity is very dangerous. If someone else wants to sleep with you then you can say that you can't because you are in a relationship. You and your partner (boyfriend or girlfriend) could still wear a gold ring on your finger to show that you are in a relationship if not married. Maybe individuals will do the right thing and not pursue any sexual encounters with you. In order to get rid of sexual desire, it may help for those in a relationship to allow each other to look at another person's private parts without any exchange of bodily fluids or sex. This would include looking at naked photos on the internet or seeing someone naked in person. Sometimes the best way to get rid of sexual lust is seeing a naked person. This can actually prevent cheating.

            I know looking at nude people that aren't your spouse is controversial, but there is some Biblical support that seeing someone naked is okay with God. God didn't have a problem with people seeing the naked prophets Isaiah and Micah (Isa. 20:3; Micah 1:8). Or Shemuel and other men (i.e. prophets) seeing naked king Shaul when the Spirit of God came upon him and he took off his clothes and prophesied while lying naked all that day and night (1Sam. 19:23-24). The Bible also mentions that Petros (Peter) was fishing naked (John 21:7 KJV). Peter's companions would have also been naked. Fishermen would fish naked because they would have to dive into the water to pull their fishing nets out of the water. Fishing was also a dirty and smelly job and could require the cleaning of clothing. Fourthly, there were also the naked games where the competitors competed naked. And fifthly, there were (& are) professions where someone sees someone else's nudity (i.e. Roman soldiers, officers, doctors, baptizers, etc.). 

The above picture is a 2nd or 3rd Century stone relief showing three boats and their sailors battling a rough sea. Notice that all of the sailors are completely naked.

          You may ask, "what about the possibility of thinking about sleeping with someone when you look at someone naked?" This may or may not happen. Someone can also just admire a beautiful person's body. Thoughts of sleeping with someone can also happen by looking at an attractive person that is clothed. It is a good idea not to think about sleeping with someone that isn't your spouse so you don't commit adultery in your heart (Matt. 5:27-28). The point Yeshua is trying to get across is that it is important to control our thoughts to prevent committing a sin. Obviously we are going to fail at this but the world doesn't need people thinking about committing adultery, stealing, murdering et cetera. If you're thinking about a particular sin you may actually follow through with your thoughts.



            In case your Sexual Education Class didn't cover anal sex, there is a proper way to have safe anal sex so you don't hurt yourself. You should be wearing a condom to prevent STD transfer and using lube to prevent tearing of the anus. Anal sex without lube increases the chance of your anus tearing because of dry friction. Also, your anus hole is one size and a person's penis size may be bigger; so you don't want to just put a bigger penis into a smaller hole off the bat. Put some more lube on that condom so the penis will slide into the anus and anal sex will be pain free. This allows the anus to get use to the expansion or stretching.

            If your anus tears that may cause poop cessation. You may have to take stool softeners & sit in warm water for recovery. It usually takes 4-6 weeks for your anus to heal. You don't want to go through this. Additionally, you may have to go on a diet for about 2 weeks if your butt hole closes or shrinks up. It's an easy fix and I recommend going on a Jenny Craig diet where you will be getting your fiber from fruits & vegetables, healthy fats from olives, etc., dairy from non-fat Greek yogurt plus healthy meals.

            You can also do a Yahoo! search on how to have safe anal sex. Just be aware that some of the info is biased. One author mentions that the anus isn't meant to be penetrated. I would have to disagree because God put the male g spot in the anus for a reason. The Bible also talks about anal sex at Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13. Those verses have been mistranslated to forbid homosexuality but the verses are actually forbidding a particular place not to sleep with a male (i.e. on a woman's (or wife's) bed.


NOTE: Just because something negative can happen via anal sex doesn't mean anal sex is wrong. The vagina can also be torn during intercourse for the same reasons as in anal sex (i.e. the hole may be smaller than the penis or dry friction). This can cause urine cessation. Also, during pregnancy, a woman's anus can be torn or she could die. Additionally, sometimes a woman will have urine accidents just by laughing if her vagina gets stretched out too much during labor. So a possible negative side effect isn't an indicator that God forbids something. 



            The whole LGBT community is often judged by the unsafe sexual acts, lack of self-control or non-monogamy of people in our community. I want to counter that. If you are going to commit fornication, then at least protect yourself. I'm not condoning fornication. I just don't think the world needs any more people getting HIV /AIDS. Men who sleep with men (gay & bisexual men) currently make up around 70% of the new HIV infections. That's way too much. This situation needs to be turned around. On a positive note, those infections have decreased around 10% in white male to male sex. Negatively, they have increased around 3% in black male to male sex. Remember, it's better to be safe than sorry. So please don't let your guard down. There are still too many new HIV infections. Societal and religious discrimination along with false teaching has played a big role in those numbers.

            Please note that a condom can roll up the shaft of the penis in both anal and vaginal sex. This is because of the thrusting and the condom isn't an exact fit for the different sizes of the male genitalia. Let your partner know your expectations. The inserter is to roll the condom back down the penis shaft during intercourse if it rolls up and to hold the base of the used condom when he pulls out or is done. Let him know that if the condom comes off then you are done or he will have to put another condom on. Also, if the lubricated condom comes off, your butt can be torn because the penis underneath likely wasn't lubricated or providing its own lubrication due to the condom. 

            There are some guys that just don't want to use a condom. There is no reason for this because there is still pleasure with using a condom for anal sex. Learn to like it. Maybe he is trying to disease you. Or if he has genital warts, yeast infection, etc; you don't want any of that in your butt. So be careful; because misery loves company.

            If you don't think a guy has an std that you can get just from skin contact and you are going to suck his penis anyway without a condom, then you can talk to the guy being sucked beforehand. He should let you know when he is about to cum and to pull away. He can ejaculate on himself or in a sex toy, sock, etc. You can eliminate the risk of pre-cum or an accidental spurt by not doing too much sucking. Save the cum swallowing for your committed boyfriend or husband only. Don't fantasize about drinking a guy down like the porn movies portray. That's dangerous behavior. For the next temptation (trial), don't think about giving oral sex. Just fantasize about looking, groping, sniffing etc. Realize that oral sex fornication isn't a risk you should take. 

            Maybe I can save some of you from getting an std in hope that you will choose marriage later. There are at least a few places where God showed some mercy to those who had committed fornication (Gen. 38:15,16,18; Hos. 1:2; Rev. 2:21). However, God shows mercy in hope that the sinner will repent. Let us take heed to Paul who warned us against fornication at (1 Cor. 6:18): "Flee fornication ... but he who fornicates, sins against his own body." That statement is definitely true; with all the STDs, some deadly, which promiscuous sex can give. That's why you should just look, maybe touch, but don't have any sexual activity except with your lifetime spouse. Furthermore, Paul said this at (1 Cor. 10:8 Peshitta): "And neither shall we commit fornication, as some of them committed, and twenty-three thousand fell (or died) in one day." [ Numbers 25:9]. God may use fornication to punish sinners (Num. 14:33).Yeshua the son of Sira also warned us: "A harlot (fornicator) is a double-edged sword. There is no healing for her blow (wound, sickness). From morning to evening she destroys ..." (Sira 21:4-5) and "... before every arrow [was shot] her quiver was opened. Thus is an adulterous woman in which her love was opened toward every man." (Sira 26:15).

             If you ever want to have children to pass on your name, legacy and property; you may want to do natural insemination with a lesbian (or a heterosexual or bisexual woman). I'm sure the woman would want to make sure that your semen doesn't have an std. So for that reason, it just seems that the best course of action is to wait till marriage to have sex. Hence, don't take any chances. Just look or grope to avoid fornication if that helps.

Is the Bible Against Homosexuality? by Preacher Mattai © 2016. All rights reserved.